Subscribe, unsubscribe, give us your feedback... email: Jeff@Friday-funnies.com

Friday-funnies.com... 02/05/2016 View this email in a browser
Friday-funnies.com
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We really appreciate your visits! Every Friday, our goal is to provide you with a few laughs, some inspiring stories and some food for thought. We look forward to your visiting with us again next Friday! Y'all come on back now... ya hear!






----------












----------





Lazy ways to lose weight

We are a society of do-ers. Especially when it comes to weight loss. It’s the ultra-marathoners, the uber-vegans, the cleansers, the Crossfitters and the calorie-counters who keep the weight off.

When it comes to health and fitness, sometimes it can feel like you're doing it wrong if your journey’s not marked by blood, sweat and tears. Or so the diet and fitness industry would have you believe. But we’re here to assure you that working towards a weight loss goal doesn’t have to be crazy difficult.

These simple tweaks can help the laziest of dieters drop a few pounds without lifting a finger. Stay in your PJs, throw on some Scandal, and feel smug about your slim-slacker status, while the rest of them slave away on the treadmill.



Adopt eating rituals

There’s no wrong way to eat a Reese’s - as long as you have a way that’s yours. Feasting rituals, research suggests, are a form of “mindful eating,” which has the power to make food more pleasurable, and may help prevent overeating.

Pleasure, according to research published in the journal Trends in Endocrinology and Metabolism, catalyzes the relaxation response, promoting parasympathetic and digestive activities. In other words, you’ll metabolize dessert faster if you really, really enjoy eating it.

In one study, participants who were assigned to eat a chocolate bar in accordance with a particular breaking and unwrapping ritual found the candy much more enjoyable - and even more flavorful - than a group who ate the bar informally. It's exactly what Kourtney Kardashian was going on and on about with how to eat a Kit Kat.



Drink 2 cups of water

Are you really hungry, or are you actually just thirsty? A study in the journal Physiology & Behavior suggests people inappropriately respond to thirst over 60 percent of the time by eating instead of drinking.

Even if you’re not hankering for a thirst-quencher, preloading meals with plain ol’ calorie-free water can shave hundreds of calories from your daily intake. And if plain water sounds boring, you can add some practically calorie-free fresh citrus to create a health-boosting (and flavorful!) detox water.

A study published in the journal Obesity found that people who drank two cups of water before eating consumed 75 to 90 fewer calories over the course of a meal than they would otherwise. This may simply be because water is filling, but researchers note the added H20 may well be displacing calories otherwise spent on calorie-laden beverages.



Going low fat was wrong advice

Moo-ve over skim milk, a new weight loss drink is coming to town - and it overflowing with fat! That’s right, fat! For decades, the government has recommended low-fat or fat-free dairy products over their full-fat counterparts, but a recent Journal of Clinical Nutrition report has a convincing argument for choosing their higher-calorie counterparts.

“When people consumed more low-fat dairy productions, they increased their consumption of carbs, which may promote weight gain,” study author Jessica Smith, Ph.D. said in a statement. To stay lean for life, switch from skim milk to 2% and reach for full-fat yogurt instead of those lower calorie containers.



Adopt a Japanese tradition or two

Hara hachi bu
is a Japanese expression that means “Eat until 80% full,” which, if you put the advice to practice at every meal, translates roughly to a 300 calorie-per-day saving for the average American.

It can take up to 30 minutes for the body to register satiety signals, according to research, so consider using chopsticks to slow your pace and feel your fullness.

According to a restaurant study published in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine, healthy-weight customers were nearly 3 times more likely to use chopsticks than obese customers.



----------





"Believe in Yourself" ... 5 million views motivational video

To wake up in life... it doesn't mean to get up early in the morning... and continue with your day... and do the exact same thing tomorrow. To wake up in life means to handle what happens to tomorrow, to assist with what your goal is to achieve it!

To wake up in life is to be you, to express yourself, to show the world how you're the best and how you will be on the top! To wake up in life is to enjoy it the fullest and give it your all achieving every single thing you possibly CAN!

Watch the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjZ0KbJcav0



----------





Everyone who has switched to organic foods knows it can be quite expensive… a new store called “Aldi” is changing that

Aldi is stepping up its game in the organic-food space. The grocery chain is expanding organic-food brands, removing some artificial ingredients from its products, and adding more gluten-free items in hopes of attracting more health-conscious shoppers.

Aldi became one of the world's biggest food retailers by offering insanely low prices.
The chain's prices on fresh produce and packaged goods are roughly 30% lower than Walmart's, according to a recent price check.

The company's foray into organic and gluten-free foods signals a new direction for Aldi and an emerging threat to Whole Foods' lower cost chain, 365 by Whole Foods Market, which is launching this year.
Whole Foods is opening the chain to better compete with the increasingly crowded market for low-cost organic goods.

Aldi has removed certified synthetic colors, partially hydrogenated oils, and added MSG from all of its private-label products, which make up 90% of what Aldi sells, the company told Business Insider.

Aldi is also expanding its selection of fresh and organic meat and produce, including its "Never Any!" brand of meats that contain no added antibiotics, hormones, animal by-products or other additives.

The chain is also expanding its SimplyNature line, which is free of more than 125 artificial ingredients, and its gluten-free liveGfree brand.
Aldi's milk is already free of artificial growth hormones, but its now stripping yogurt, sour cream, cottage cheese, and other dairy products of growth hormones as well.



In addition to broadening its organic offerings, Aldi has started to offer "fancier" foods, like artisanal cheeses, smoked salmon, quinoa, and coconut oil.
The steps will enable Aldi to better compete with not only Whole Foods, but also Kroger, which has been rapidly expanding its organic line, called Simple Truth, and Walmart's Neighborhood Markets.

Aldi currently has about 1,500 stores in the US and has plans to open roughly 500 more stores over the next two years as part of a $3 billion expansion. Aldi and its rival discounter Lidl have upended the grocery market in the UK, forcing the nation's largest supermarkets to dramatically cut prices and lay off workers to stay competitive.

The CEO of Asda, the UK's second-largest grocery chain, has called the new competitive environment created by Aldi and Lidl "the worst storm in retail history."
"When we set the plan, I don't think anyone anticipated the market being in meltdown," Asda CEO Andy Clarke said in August after the Walmart-owned company reported its worst quarterly sales drop ever.

Aldi keeps prices low by limiting inventory to a lean selection of private-label items, versus traditional supermarkets that tend to carry several different brands of a single product. Aldi also invests far less in customer service and merchandising than traditional grocers.

Most of the store's products are displayed in their shipping cartons to make restocking quick and easy. That means fewer workers are needed on the sales floor.

Aldi also requires customers to bring their own shopping bags, bag their own groceries, and pay a deposit to use a cart. Customers get their deposit back when they return the cart, so Aldi doesn't have to pay employees to round up carts.



----------







----------






In case you haven't heard, or you are oblivious to the news of the day... America's 'Debt Limit' is now again the latest fabricated crisis in Washington.

Today is February 5th... and your taxes are still going up... and our country is virtually bankrupt. The U.S. government spends $10.5 billion dollars per day - of which $4.5 billion dollars is borrowed! That means we are going $4.5 billion dollars deeper in the hole - each and every day. Yet Obama pretends all is well. Obama's debt comes right out of your pocket... 

Our nation-state is no model of fiscal responsibility. When Barack Obama took office, the national debt was already an impressive $10 trillion. Today it is $18.5 trillion. The national debt is still growing at a rate of more than $50 million an hour. 

Here's Obama's "bull crap" for the week... 02/05/2016



----------




Snowden indicted treason for exposing U.S. secrets. Hillary exposed U.S. secrets and continued to run for president?

Two criminal indictments coming against Hillary Clinton soon... and still Iowa liberals vote for the corrupt traitor?

Well, the Iowa vote has Clinton and Sanders in a virtual tie. Democrat's in Iowa had a choice between a corrupt, liar politician and a Socialist.

However, in Clinton's case, half of the low-info liberal voters in Iowa - actually chose Clinton - knowing she is on the verge of being indicted for treason against the United States!

California Congressman Darrell Issa, who previously led an investigation into Benghazi as former chairman of the House Oversight Committee, says the FBI "would like to indict both Huma Abedin and Hillary Clinton" for conducting sensitive government business on an unsecure, private email server.

"I think the FBI director would like to indict both Huma and Hillary as we speak," the Republican heavyweight told the Washington Examiner Thursday, during a debate watch-party at Florida Sen. Marco Rubio's New Hampshire campaign headquarters.

"I think he's in a position where he's being forced to triple-time make a case of what would otherwise be, what they call, a slam dunk," Issa said, referring to FBI Director James Comey, who previously told the Senate Judiciary Committee he would conduct a "competent," "honest" and "independent" probe into Clinton's handling of classified information during her tenure as secretary of state.

So far, the FBI has uncovered thousands of classified emails on Clinton's illegal server, along with the recent discovery of 22 top-secret emails too sensitive to publish.

Obama has been conspiring to protect Clinton during this election year, by withholding documents and slowing the process. If the Obama justice department fails to bring an indictment soon... all hell is going to break loose in the FBI.



----------




It is claimed that the purpose of these drone sites and new power - to simply name any American the President doesn't like - and immediately have them struck by a Hellfire.


U.S. government murdering Americans with impunity

As long as the government can keep people divided - then they can continue on with their tyranny and control unmolested. Both sides, and all Americans, need to realize their real enemy is the US federal government and more specifically the shadowy group of international bankers that have controlled and owned it since 1913.

Americans are slowly waking up to living under the supervision of a tyrannical police state.

Americans at home and abroad are finding their biggest threat is their own government which, bankrupt beyond measure (the most indebted country in human history), is doing what many governments do when they run out of money... imprisoning and killing many of its own citizens in an attempt to retain power.

When the Pentagram is not blowing up wedding parties of women and children in Afghanistan and Syria, US federal and local police are involved in the same kinds of assaults domestically via SWAT teams and shoot-to-kill criminal assaults.

Homeland Security has provided police forces around the country with the latest in military gear that has been “cast off” by US overseas troops. This time it was the FBI in concert with the Oregon police who killed Lavoy Finicum in cold blood (while many in the country cheered, which is truly the scary part).

Finicum was shot after he drove off the road into deep snow to avoid hitting several cars placed in the road by the FBI and Oregon police. A video taken from a low flying plane shows Finicum getting out of the car with his hands up and then reaching down toward his waist, at which point he is shot and murdered by overseers (officers) surrounding him.

Did FBI fake Finicum shooting video? Watch the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jnC5t9hbKc



The issue was about the federal government’s claim of Western lands. Altogether the US federal government claims up to one-third or more of the entire US, mostly in the West. There is no constitutional provision for federal land ownership and many federal claims are disputed by local residents.

The Bureau of Land Management is the culprit in the depredations and illegal takeovers in the West. The tensions are heightened by a suspicion that various United Nations programs are being implemented by the BLM...

Which is seen as an enforcing UN mandates to clear out the population from the Western half of the US in order to return the land to the “wild” - while exploiting underground commodity resources for a variety of corrupt, private interests, many overseas.

The BLM is viewed by many as one of the more corrupt institutions of the federal government, though US citizens generally view the federal government as deeply corrupt. A recent survey by researchers at Chapman University found that the top fear was federal government corruption at a level of nearly 60 percent.

The corruption fears are part of a larger perception... that the US government is out of control and a permanent danger to the life and liberties of its citizens.



----------





The "Liberal Bossy Class" ... how Obama extremist liberal elites have become the new autocrats in America (dictators, despots, tyrants)

Liberals always have a liberal opinion and liberal solution for everything. Unfortunately, for them and the rest of us - their opinions are childishly warped and out of touch, and their solutions usually make existing problems even worse. The liberals solution to this reality - more liberal controls.

An example of this liberal warp and failure can be seen at our colleges and universities. Students have been protesting at some of the most prestigious colleges, that they need to be protected from non-liberal opinions. They have actually signed petitions to revoke the first amendment protecting free speech?

But their liberal brain-washed solution only outlaws non-liberal free speech. If your views fall within the liberal mandate, you are free and welcome to mouth off. But non-liberals viewpoints are verboten. Liberals control our education system from kindergarten to college.

But they no longer educate with facts and history - they fabricate and indoctrinate.



----------








_____________________________________________________________________________________________




Cool Photos



A man walks along a street covered by snow during a winter storm in Washington, D.C. on Jan. 23, 2016. A winter storm dumped nearly 2 feet of snow on the suburbs of Washington, D.C., on Saturday before moving on to Philadelphia and New York, paralyzing road, rail and airline travel along the U.S. East Coast.




People stroll alongside one of the hills of the Tio Pio park in Madrid, on Jan. 25, 2016. The park is a high viewpoint frequented mostly by locals due to its view of the Spanish capital skyline.




Birds flock to a feeder as snow falls on Jan. 22, 2016, in Nashville, Tenn. A blizzard menacing the Eastern United States started dumping snow in Virginia, Tennessee and other parts of the South on Friday as millions of people in the storm's path prepared for icy roads, possible power outages and other treacherous conditions.




An Indian worker paints the hand of a huge clay model of a tribal woman on the Indian state of Karnataka's tableau for Republic Day parade, in New Delhi, India, on Jan. 22, 2016. Security has been tightened around the Indian capital as well as across the country ahead of Republic Day celebrations, held each year on Jan. 26.




The Blue Origin New Shepard reusable rocket lifts off from the west Texas proving ground in Van Horn, Texas. Jeff Bezos's rocket startup launched...




...and brought back to Earth the same New Shepard rocket. The hardware was exactly the same as that used last November 'demonstrating reuse' technology.




Bolts of lightning break through the thick clouds of black ash erupting from the Colima volcano in Mexico. The volcano is one of the most active in Central America and is located over 30km away from the city of Colima in the west of the country.




This myna bird looks as if it is giving its friend a piggyback. The shot was captured by IT consultant Nitin Chandra, 50, from New Delhi, India, from the rooftop of his apartment.




_____________________________________________________________________________________________

         

_____________________________________________________________________________________________




Friday-funnies...

I can. I will. End of story.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Life always offers you a second chance... it's called tomorrow.

"I like Trump because he's a businessman, so he understands how debt load works. Give him the roads, bridges, infrastructure, power grid – and he’ll get them fixed. He would be good for the economy and trade. But I don’t like the Clintons – they’re like a bad herpes infection: Just when you think they're gone, they show up again." -- Tim Allen

"One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: To rise above the little things." -- John Burroughs

"Faith is to believe what we do not see... and the reward of this faith is to see what we believe." -- Augustine



----------





The citizens have no representation in the corrupt Obama government... the 2-party political system is a dishonest and corrosive scheme

Much of the older middle class don't have college degrees and work in the blue collar market. This is an area of the labor market that is most affected by the illegal immigrants.

These are people who's jobs are taken away by the cheap labor of illegal invaders. Of course they are going to get behind a candidate that says they will actually do something to curb the invasion.

However they are not the only group that is supporting Trump. I do think he is running because he sees the same thing many of the rest of us see. A government without any representation or concern for it's white middle class. We are awake now and we are tired of our concerns being pushed to the side.

The constant barrage of attacks on our constitutional rights and taxed to pay for all the idiotic agendas - our so called leaders come up with to repay the favors to their big money supporters. So I suggest that white people do what the minorities do - support a candidate that we think will try to support us too.

Trump will represent all Americans, Republican, Democrat and Independent. Obama has only represented the selfish, extremists liberals in America. He has ignored out of control spending and a failing infrastructure. He has wasted trillions of taxpayer's hard earned dollars - and we literally have nothing to show for it.

Trump is someone who will expose those who are corrupt puppets - for who they really are - to those slow to understand that they are being screwed by the establishment. We really need a third party to shake up the establishment and show them we are not going to take it any more.



----------





Donald Trump is self-funding his presidential campaign... which means that, unlike the other people running, he will not be controlled by corrupt special interest groups

Welcome 2016, when America will cheer, 
Cheer to all Americans, both far and near. 
Safety and prosperity are once more in our grasp 
So long as we have AMERICAN hands to clasp. 

America IS and will always BE, 
the land of the BRAVE and the HOME OF THE FREE 
Divided we'll fall, but UNITED WE'LL STAND, 
So it's time to let Donald Trump lead this land!

Then he road into D.C. and brought back their joy. 
He brought back the confidence of American girls and boys. 
He brought back the prayers and he helped to build walls, 
showed other world leaders once more that America has balls!  

He brought everything back, without a moment to wait, 
And he himself vanquished the Muslims, and made America GREAT!



----------





“Cotton is King” Senator James Henry Hammond proclaimed proudly in 1858… but hemp is even better, with many more uses!

Since then, cotton has been christened the “fabric of our lives.” And to this day, it’s still going strong. Cotton production, in fact, is projected to quadruple by the year 2050.

Some interesting tidbits… Cotton accounts for less than 2.5% of cropland and requires 16% of the world’s pesticides. It also needs, from seed to T-shirt, up to 5,000 gallons of water to produce two pounds of the stuff. (Two pounds, by the way, is about the equivalent of a shirt and a pair of jeans.) 

Hemp production, on the other hand, requires half the amount of land and, when you add in processing, about a quarter of the amount of water to produce the same amount of fabric.

Which is, mind you, far more durable than the cotton king. The hemp plant itself is also stronger, more resilient and easily overtakes most other weeds. It’s rare, in fact, that it requires any chemicals to thrive.

“It’s so prolific,” Brian Palmer writes in Slate, “that the overwhelming majority of cannabis plants uprooted by the Drug Enforcement Administration every year are a wild relative of hemp. It’s no coincidence they call the stuff weed.”

For those reasons, and many others, hemp is a superior product. It should be noted, before we dig deeper, that hemp and marijuana are two very different plants. Unlike marijuana, hemp does not and cannot get you high.



Therefore, whatever negative feelings Americans have about marijuana shouldn’t interfere with industrial hemp. Unfortunately, it seems, that’s what has happened. And in the Land of the Free, federal law still defends its irrational ban on hemp farming.

But, despite the idiocy, there’s a light at the end of this tunnel… fortunately the tide is turning against hemp prohibition.

And it’s because of one oft-forgotten power the states have over the federal government - the power of nullification.

“Today,” Michael Boldin, founder of the Tenth Amendment Center, wrote last Tuesday, “the Virginia House of Delegates passed a bill to authorize the farming, and production of industrial hemp in the state for commercial purposes, setting the foundation to nullify in practice the unconstitutional federal prohibition on the same. The vote was 98-0.”

“In short,” Mike Maharrey, also from the Tenth Amendment Center, says, “this would cut the federal government completely out of the state’s hemp policy, as it should be. This is exactly what is already happening in Vermont, Colorado, and other states.”

According to a 2005 Congressional Research Service report, the U.S. is the only developed nation that hasn’t used industrial hemp for economic purposes. Instead, the United States is, ridiculously, the #1 importer of hemp fiber. And China and Canada are the top two exporters.



----------





Islamic refugee nightmare in Europe

When the Syrian refugee crisis began, Germany was one of the countries that opened its arms, and its borders, to Syrian refugees without hesitation, despite the concerns of many on the German right. Now, it seems to be blowing up in their face.

Their population is endangered: A group of up to 1,000 men of “Arab background” sexually assaulted dozens of women New Year’s Eve in Cologne, Germany, according to police.

The assaults, however, were not confirmed for days, leading to public accusations of a cover-up. Cologne Police Chief Wolfgang Albers confirmed Monday as many as 60 reports were filed by women sexually assaulted by a large mob of “Arab or North African men” during celebrations in Cologne New Year’s Eve. Albers stated the claims were in fact true.

“There was a very large number of sexual assaults there – and in a massive way. Women were grabbed and attacked,” said Albers during a press conference Monday. ”The crimes were committed by a group of people who, from appearance, were largely from the north African or Arab world.” As many as 80 women were assaulted and robbed by the mob, according to police reports.

Some women reported being encircled by large groups of men who had “fingers on every orifice.” One report claimed a woman was raped. The several day delay of confirmation of the attacks from officials roused suspicions of a cover-up. Anabel Schunke wrote on Huffington Post’s German language site Monday accusing police officials and public media outlets of covering up the issue entirely.

This should be a lesson to any major metropolitan area that's about to receive a massive influx of largely unskilled Islamic refugees. It can happen anywhere.



----------







----------







----------





Shania Twain live in Chicago... "Rock This Country!"

Shania looking and sounding really good here! Country Rock all the way Baby! YouTube can only go so far; but wouldn't you like to have been there to experience all of this LIVE? Wow, it must have been one great concert....

Watch the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kOwLDAY3h0



----------







----------





China is building malls of the future that could come to the US soon

As the mall as we know it declines across America, a new era of shopping is emerging on the horizon. High-end, futuristic malls in China and parts of the US are upgrading technology, hoping to attract customers with “smart” shopping centers.

“In the US, the malls look exactly the same they did 20 year ago,” Deborah Weinswig, executive director at Fung Business Intelligence Centre, said recently in a talk at a JDA Executive Luncheon. “We’ve got to make it more exciting, and more fun, and more experiential.”

Changing consumer tastes and the rise of e-commerce means shoppers are visiting malls less and less, with Weinswig reporting that the average American now visits a mall three to four times a year, as opposed to five to six.

To compete with online shopping, malls need to match e-commerce in convenience and create experiential reasons to visit the mall that you cannot find online. Touch-screen platforms that provide customer information are becoming an increasingly common and interactive feature.

For example, YunTouch uses face recognition technology to collect and analyze customers’ past purchases when they stop by a digital display terminal. In the US, Ralph Lauren is testing interactive mirrors in fitting rooms that allow shoppers to change the lighting, request different sizes, browse through other items, or interact with a sales associate.

Store are also testing retail robots, like Pepper, Japan’s SoftBank’s four-foot tall, humanoid bot who is fluent in eight languages and can serve as a personal stylist and salesperson. The robot can even follow up with customers using emails and text messages.

To give customers a reason to visit retailers in person, malls are creating new, futuristic events. Macerich, for example, has partnered with HGTV to create Santa HQ - a holiday pop up that allows guests to play with functions like augmented-reality selfie videos and receive texts when Santa is ready to see them.



These new services attempt to give customers tech that they can’t access in their own homes. However, the other major shift in the mall of the future is in customers’ own hands — their smartphones.

With the chance to connect, some malls are now texting shoppers. Shanghai’s Cloud Nine and Shenzhen’s SEG Plaza are utilizing social-messaging app WeChat for their news and loyalty programs, connecting with customers even when they aren’t at the mall.

In the US, some Macerich locations allow shoppers to text questions to the mall’s information desk to get speedy and convenient answers. Other apps give shoppers a more immersive experience.

The Feifan app, created by Chinese retail conglomerate Wanda Group and Internet-centric companies Baidu and Tencent, hopes to make itself indispensable in every aspect of shopping. The app, which is now available in about 370 major shopping malls, provides promotions, in-store and parking navigation, free WiFi, and restaurant booking services.

Other new mall apps, such as Miaojie, have the added bonus of offering payment options. 

Apps are especially appealing to retailers, as they can gather more information about shoppers. Shenzhen Rainbow, a company that owns more than 30 department stores and shopping malls in China, recently launched an app that delivers promotional messages, through which the company can gather and analyze shopper data. 

New technology helped contribute to the decline of malls in America, as shoppers turned to e-commerce. However, today the tides are turning. Now, with new experiential and smartphone tech, retailers have the chance to use technology to reverse the downfall of the mall.



----------





Are you listening to God... or just talking to him?

Listening to God - Preparing Your Heart to Hear Him

Listening to God is like listening to anyone - before you can hear Him, you must be ready to listen. Just as in a conversation, you cannot hear the other person if you are talking or if your mind is distracted.

So it is with God. If you want to hear Him speak, you must be quiet and you must be focused on what He is saying. Regular conversation with God can transform your life! Consider identifying a place and time to meet with God everyday.

Prayer is how you begin a conversation with God. Think of it as saying "hello."

Listening to God - How Can I Hear Him?

Listening to God requires a deliberate choice to shut out the chaos around you and focus your thoughts. Is God someone you can hear? The Bible says He is, and the Bible is one of the main tools through which He speaks.

We live in a world of noise. Almost everywhere we go, we find sounds competing with our minds, keeping us from letting our thoughts get below the surface level. Hearing God's voice means not listening to the noise of the world around us. It's not easy, but it can be done.



King David, author of most of the book of Psalms, gave us a model for meeting with God, "Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul" (Psalm 143:8).

He sought God's direction in the morning, at the beginning of the day. Like a general in God's army, he wanted to hear from his Commanding Officer before he entered into battle. Beginning each day fresh with God is a great reminder that, as the Scripture says, His mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22, 23).

You must find the time of day that works for you, but morning is the best time if that is possible. Do you want to hear God speak to you? Listening to God requires regular Bible reading, since the Bible is the Word of God.

Listening to God - Get the Picture

Listening to God requires a heart committed to understand His message. God often speaks to us in visual images. Consider the example of the prophet Habakkuk, in Habakkuk chapter 2.

The prophet longed to hear from God! He was so determined that he was willing to stand and wait as long as it took. "I will stand at my watch and station myself on the ramparts; I will look to see what he will say to me…" (Habakkuk 2:1).

Habakkuk found that God was faithful. "Then the LORD replied, 'Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it. For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay" (Habakkuk 2:2).



Listening to God - What Now?

Listening to God requires a right attitude in our hearts. In order to listen to God and receive His instruction, we must want to do His will, much as Habakkuk did. God honors the heart that is fully surrendered to Him.

If we are stubbornly clinging to our own desires, we are likely to get a garbled message that will not be God's voice at all. As a result, we are likely to continue pursuing a path that is contrary to the one God has designed for our lives.

Psalm 40:8 says, "I desire to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart."

Do you desire God's will for your life above every other desire? If you do, you can trust that He will direct your path. Listen to His message, and be quick to obey. Write down what He tells you and be ready to share it so that others may understand.

When you listen to God and obey Him... you will discover a life that is full and rich with purpose, confident you are following the Lord's plan.



----------







Satan appeared

One Sunday morning, Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away. Soon, everyone was gone, except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly.

Satan walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?" The man replied, "Yep, sure do." Satan asked, "Aren't you going to run?" "Nope, sure ain't," said the man. Perturbed, Satan asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?" The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."







----------



The Bernie Sanders campaign is demanding proof that Hillary Clinton beat him in yesterday’s Iowa caucus. Today Hillary said, "Sure, let me check my server." -- Conan O’Brien

Bernie Sanders lost the Iowa Caucus by .03%. In other words, Bernie would have won if six stoners had managed to get off the couch. -- Conan O’Brien

McDonald’s now has a special kind of Happy Meal that comes with a book instead of a toy. The book is called, "D is for Diabetes." -- Conan O’Brien

New Barbies will come in a variety of body sizes including "tall," "petite," and "curvy." However, due to some controversy, the company has decided not to make "Bootylicious Barbie." -- Conan O’Brien

Analysts say that for Bernie Sanders to win he needs college students to show up at the polls. Which explains Sanders' new campaign slogan: "I’ve Got Pizza!" -- Conan O’Brien





We tape our show before the results are in so we don't know who won either primary yet. All we do know is that Jeb Bush lost. -- Jimmy Kimmel

Then "Jeb can fix it" which sounds like a local roto-rooter or someone's uncle's YouTube channel. -- Jimmy Kimmel

Last night was caucus night in Iowa and Ted Cruz was the winner on the Republican side with 28 percent of the vote. Donald Trump came in second with 24 percent, and Marco Rubio is right behind him with 23 percent. Third is pretty good considering the fact that most Iowa voters think that Marco Rubio is a game you play in the swimming pool. -- Jimmy Kimmel

In last night's Iowa caucus, Ted Cruz won first place and gave a 32-minute speech. To be fair, 31 of those minutes were just people shouting "Really? Him?! This guy? We're going with this guy? We're kidding! I did it as a joke!" -- James Corden

Ted Cruz's victory last night raises a lot of questions, like one: "Can he keep this momentum going into New Hampshire?" And two: "Just how much does it cost to move to Canada?" -- James Corden



----------





Of 452 terrorist suicide attacks worldwide last year... how many do you think were perpetrated by Muslim Islamic extremists?

A new study by Israel’s Institute for National Security Studies at Tel Aviv University found that of the 452 suicide attacks it tallied last year, 450 were carried out by Muslims.

The Times of Israel reported: "Of course, we cannot avoid mentioning the religious element as the most significant factor that motivates the suicide terrorists throughout the world.

Here’s the most dramatic statistic: 450 of 452 suicide terror attacks in 2015 were perpetrated by Muslim extremists. One of the remaining two attacks was carried out by the Kurdish underground. The other was perpetrated by a woman supporter of a leftist group in Turkey."

Even the attack in Turkey initially attributed to a “leftist group” may actually also have been carried out by a Muslim. According to media reports, police were investigating if the perpetrator was a Russian woman “radicalized by Wahhabi ideology.” If that turns out to be the case, that would mean 451 of the 452 attacks were perpetrated by Muslim extremists.

The research team included in its list only attacks it verified by two sources as being a suicide attack.

Yoram Schweitzer who directs the Program on Terrorism and Low Intensity Conflict at Tel Aviv University’s Institute for National Security Studies told the Times of Israel, “We do not count every claim of a suicide attack. In other words, it’s not enough if Islamic State claims a certain number of suicide attacks.”



“Quite a few groups like to claim that they carried out suicide attacks to make themselves look more important and powerful. We always rely on at least two sources to determine that a suicide attack really did take place,” Schweitzer explained.

“Even then, every determination we make is always qualified because we can never be exact about the percentages, and certainly not in places like Syria,” the researcher added. The team defined suicide attacks as those which involved suicide bombers equipped with explosives.

They also did not count every suicide bomber as a distinct attack. For example, the Paris attacks were counted as a single event, even though there were seven assailants. The research team included in its list only attacks it verified by two sources as being a suicide attack.

The team defined suicide attacks as those which involved suicide bombers equipped with explosives.

They also did not count every suicide bomber as a distinct attack. For example, the Paris attacks were counted as a single event, even though there were seven assailants. In 0bama's world, the two non-Muslims are the problem?

There you have it. We don’t need Gun Control. We need Muslim Control! OK Trumpets, here’s your Queue! I wonder who would be the best Candidate to get rid of Muslims?



----------





Another day… another new Clinton crime

Why is the criminal investigation of Hillary Clinton taking so long? Simply put, they can’t stop finding new felonies. And this one could be the worst yet.

The New York Post reports: The FBI is investigating whether members of Hillary Clinton’s inner circle “cut and pasted” material from the government’s classified network so that it could be sent to her private email address, former State Department security officials say...

Somehow, highly classified information from SIPRNet, as well as even the super-secure JWICS, jumped from those closed systems to the open system and turned up in at least 1,340 of Clinton’s home emails -

Including several the CIA earlier this month flagged as containing ultra-secret Sensitive Compartmented Information and Special Access Programs, a subset of SCI.

That’s not just illegal. That is incredibly illegal!



----------





War on Women: PC elites target overachieving female athletes… exclude them because they’re better than the competition

This seems to be a bit of a P.C. conundrum. On the one hand, it's a group of girls cooperating and succeeding in sports, something liberals tend to love. On the other hand, they're succeeding. People who taste success might get a taste for competition, and that's a gateway drug to evil things like "profit."

We can't have that. Anyway, no more basketball for a group of girls who committed the sin of being too good at it:
A Minnesota girls basketball team say they were forced out of the league after officials determined they were too good and were intimidating the other teams.

The Northwest Suburban Basketball League decided to kick the Rogers Area Youth Basketball Association girls high school team out of the league after their 3-0 winning streak, a local Fox News affiliate reported.

“We found out Friday at lunchtime that we’re not going to be allowed because according to the league our girls were too talented,” coach Jason Hanauska told the station.

Sherri Palmgren and other parents got a letter from the head of their association that said, “The Northwest Suburban Basketball League has decided RAYBA does not fit into the league. The main reason they made this decision is because other teams do not want to play RAYBA due to the skill level.”



----------





Vegetable basics for good health

Don’t toss the good parts

How many times have you chopped the stalk and leaves off your broccoli and tossed them into the trash? Or peeled off cucumber and potato skins? Don’t be embarrassed if you do it quite often - it’s a common error. But now’s the time to change your ways and stop throwing out the healthiest parts of the veggies.

Skins, leaves and stalks have unique nutrients not found in other parts of the vegetables. They also have higher concentrations of vitamins than parts more commonly consumed.

The Rx: Step away from the peeler and chill with the chop-n-toss. Use broccoli stalks and leaves in stir-fries, soups, and salads to get a hefty dose of health-boosting nutrients.



Give veggies a good wash

Conventionally-grown, pesticide-laden vegetables like celery, spinach, sweet bell peppers, cucumbers and cherry tomatoes topped the 2014 Environmental Working Group’s annual Dirty Dozen List.

If you tend to quickly rinse these veggies - or not wash them at all - you’re likely ingesting chemical residues that can cause stomach pain, nausea and diarrhea.

The worst part is, these chemicals don’t just come and go. They hide out in our fat cells until we go on a diet and start losing weight. According to researchers, when the pounds start to come off, the chemicals come out of hibernation and shoot into the bloodstream, slowing energy expenditure and metabolism.

The Rx: Even if you always buy organic, soak your veggies in a pot of water for 10-15 minutes before eating them. Then give them another quick rinse under some running water to make sure they’re clean. Pinching pennies and being super prudent about what to buy organic?



----------





Top 10 best motorcycle stunts 2015

Best stunt tricks on motorcycles at Stunt Grand Prix 2015 in Poland from best world riders. We chose newest and most individual tricks!

1) Arunas Aras Gubueza - kangaroo 360 (kawasaki ninja ZX636 03-04)
2) Pawel Karbownik - headstand burnout (honda CBR600F4i)
3) Romain Jeandrot - power circles in side tank position (kawasaki ninja ZX636 03-04)

Watch the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0N2cIqLUh8



----------




_______________________________________________________________

7 Day Free Trial @ Chemistry.com.
_______________________________________________________________





Thought for the day...




What the "Free State Project" (FSP) is all about

The FSP is, according to its website, “an effort to recruit 20,000 liberty-loving people to move to New Hampshire.” Hatched in 2001, the FSP wants 20,000 libertarians to quit their jobs, sell their homes (if they own a home, that is) and relocate to the Granite State.

And guess what? It seems like it might work. We’ll get to that, though, in a moment.
Let’s take a look at why this project shows promise. First and foremost, the FSP makes a pretty convincing case for moving to the state. We can’t imagine anyone would think, on paper at least, that New Hampshire would be a bad place to live. Libertarian or not.

Just take a look at FSP’s video called 101 Reasons to Move to New Hampshire.
Watch the video: https://youtu.be/vxCNeK97_C8

Here are just the first six:

• No sales tax
• No income tax
• No capital gains tax
• No inventory tax
• No machinery tax
• No eminent domain

Bottom line, New Hampshire, year after year, has been ranked #1 in the country for quality of life and livability. A recent report from the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD) shows why.
Here are three Quality of Life stats that stand out to us.

ONE: “New Hampshire residents,” the FSP website reads, “rank #1 in knowledge of fundamental economics and financial concepts.” In a FINRA Investor Education Foundation Financial Capability Survey, conducted nationwide, the Granite State scored first in the nation in areas of financial knowledge and decision making -- AKA “financial literacy.”



Imagine that…

A state filled with people who understand economics not just theoretically, but how it applies to everyday life. That’s an interesting experiment in itself.

TWO: “New Hampshire is the 5th healthiest state in the nation.”

New Hampshirites, despite its “high prevalence for binge drinking,” according to Health.com, “are more active than most Americans, enjoy a low rate of infectious diseases, and have a low infant mortality rate.”

THREE: Moreover, the FSP website reads, “With the lowest homicide rate in the country, New Hampshire consistently ranks as the safest state.” Not one of the safest… the safest.

It also boasts the largest home-schooling networks… strong self-defense laws… the highest number of Bitcoin transactions in the U.S. per capita (meaning, an openness to dollar alternatives)… the highest median income… and the lowest poverty rate in the U.S.

You can check out all 101 reasons at the Free State Project’s website here...

Website: https://freestateproject.org/about/101-reasons-move-new-hampshire



From the looks of it, as mentioned, the FSP is working. Upon writing, 18,643 Americans have pledged to move to the state within the next five years - amounting to 93% of their goal of 20,000.

If just half of them actually relocate, we would consider that a success.

We almost added our name to the list… But we’re not pledging to make the plunge quite yet. We will, though, later this year, visit New Hampshire and see what’s happening on the ground. And, of course, tell you all about it. It does sound promising.

And if we like what we see, we’ll be the among the first to pack our things and head to the Free State - despite our deep aversion to cold winters. (Why do you think we’re still in Florida?)

What about you? Would you move to New Hampshire if the Free State Project ends up triggering a mass liberty-migration? As you know, we’re always on the lookout for ways to live free in an unfree world.

If you don’t like the idea of leaving the country in search of those greener pastures, New Hampshire could be a great option within the borders. To jump in with both feet, you can sign up and make the pledge here.

But, we shall see. Stay tuned.




_____________________________________________________________________________________________

$2.95 .Com at GoDaddy.com!         
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

 
 

We really appreciate your visits! Every Friday, our goal is to provide you with a few laughs, some inspiring stories and some food for thought. We look forward to your visiting with us again next Friday!
Y'all come on back now... ya hear!

Subscribe, unsubscribe, give us your feedback...
email: Jeff@Friday-funnies.com

©Copyright 2009-2016, Friday-funnies.com™. All rights reserved.