Subscribe, unsubscribe, give us your feedback... email: Jeff@Friday-funnies.com

Friday-funnies.com... 04/24/2015 View this email in a browser
Friday-funnies...

We really appreciate your visits! Every Friday, our goal is to provide you with a few laughs, some inspiring stories and some food for thought. We look forward to your visiting with us again next Friday! Y'all come on back now... ya hear!






----------










----------





Let’s talk about today’s theme: the secret to getting ahead... is innovation

As you know, life is no longer simple. Everyone is being called to dream bigger. Think bolder. Take smarter actions. And adapt to change quicker than the brain is probably comfortable with… or evolved to deal with.

We’re being asked to stretch.

And just like you, hundreds of millions of other people in America want a better, safer, and more secure life. They’re all thinking ahead to retirement too.

And we’re all essentially on the same level playing field. All rushing from one thing to the other… in constant pursuit to catch “the next best thing” before everyone else.

Many of these people make up “the majority.” They follow the same trends. They read the same magazines and blogs. The consult the same experts. And they are all doing the same things, and playing by the same rules.



With that in mind, the secret to getting ahead is simple: Don’t follow the same tracks. Don’t try to compete. Competition is a choice. Instead, be different. Think differently. Innovate. Ask better questions.

Whether you’re starting a business, starting a local currency, or investing in the stock market. Create an idea -- or formulate a plan -- on the basis of which none existed.

Fiat lux! Let there be light! Create something out of nothing.

Easier said than done, I know.

But everyone great has done it. And it’s the defining factor of why they are, in fact, great. This is for one simple reason:

Humans have always suffered -- even well before the digital age -- not from a lack of information... but a lack of better thinking.

A lack of new perspective.




----------





We have a metaphor for this new perspective. We call it being able to see the “three-sided coin.”

I like it. It stuck out when we first mentioned it.

The three-sided coin, you see, is a paradox. Some see only the forest. Some see only the trees. But how many people can see both at the same time?

With a three-sided coin, you can see both sides at the same time. This is hard to imagine. (Until you see it. And then it’s so simple.

Here’s the weirdest thing about this three-sided coin: When you open up to its simplicity, it opens you up to things you wouldn’t otherwise consider. Meaning, you are presented with ideas others don’t naturally have access to.

I know, a little esoteric. But hear me out…

Again, it’s extremely hard for the mind to grasp or visualize at first. Our minds constantly engage in comparing one thing to the other. The mind is obsessed with distinctions and black-and-white thinking.

For example, take a look at the picture below…



Some readers might see a golden vase. Some will see two faces.

One of these undoubtedly sticks out further for you too. Your mind chooses one or the other, although they’re both present at the same time.

Try to see both at the same time. Seriously. Try. It’s difficult for most people.

This unique perspective is a skill. No one is born with it. And with it, you can open up doors you didn’t even know existed.

For now, I’m reminded of something Werner Erhard once said: “There is something I do not know, the knowing of which could change everything.”

Sometimes we may ask God for success, and He gives us physical and mental stamina. We might plead for prosperity, and we receive enlarged perspective and increased patience...

Or we petition for growth and are blessed with the gift of grace, He may bestow upon us conviction and confidence... as we strive to achieve worthy goals.



----------








This sing-along uses no words... and it's absolutely captivating and fun

We love sing-a-longs just as much as the next person but there's something so special about this one, with an ASL interpreter and her fiance, that has us all smiles.

Hey everyone! I am an ASL interpreter and Paul is an amazing fiancé who learns signs so we can do song interpretations together "Signalongs"

Enjoy!

WE never thought in a million years we would have 1,000,000 views in 1 week...  thank you all for watching... We love doing it... 

LOVE LOVE LOVE it! More are coming... Please also check out our fan page on Facebook Paul and Tina's Signalong.

Watch the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=N2tp97rqzFs



----------







----------






In case you haven't heard, or you are oblivious to the news of the day... America's 'Debt Limit' is now again the latest fabricated crisis in Washington.

Today is April 24th... and your taxes are still going up... and our country is virtually bankrupt... and going $2 billion dollars deeper in the hole - each and every day. Yet Obama pretends all is well. Obama's debt comes right out of your pocket... 

Our nation-state is no model of fiscal responsibility. When Barack Obama took office, the national debt was already an impressive $10 trillion. Today it is $18.1 trillion. The national debt is still growing at a rate of more than $50 million an hour. 

Here's Obama's "bull crap" for the week... 04/24/2015




----------





No surprise on liberal bias... Hillary Clinton getting 'celebrity" treatment by the liberal lapdog media

In a piece entitled "Hillary's Ungainly Glide" in the Wall Street Journal, conservative columnist Peggy Noonan offers this as one takeaway of the just-started 2016 campaign:

Republicans know - they see it every day - that Republican candidates get grilled, sometimes impertinently, and pressed, sometimes brusquely.

And it isn’t true that they’re only questioned in this way once they announce, Scott Walker had been treated like this also, and he had yet to announce.

Republicans see this, and then they see that Mrs. Clinton isn’t grilled, is never forced to submit to anyone’s morning-show impertinence, is never the object of the snotty question or the sharp demand for information.

She gets the glide. She waves at the crowds and the press and glides by. No one pushes. No one shouts the rude question or rolls out the carefully scripted set of studio inquiries - meant to make the candidate squirm.



She is treated like the queen of England, who also isn’t subjected to impertinent questions as she glides into and out of venues. But she is the queen. We are not supposed to have queens.

Noonan is far from the only Republican voice insisting that there is already ample evidence of bias in how the campaign is being covered.

Hillary Clinton is a Democrat. To all but the most clueless… we have been convinced for a very long time that the media is populated almost exclusively by Democrats...

Who, because they are secretly rooting for that party's candidates, are willing to overlook things that they would never overlook if it was a Republican.

Watch Jon Stewart analysis of media chasing after Hillary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNeZCnPGm7g



----------





Conservative vs Liberal

C- Families know best how to raise their children. They need to be strengthened and have the right to raise their children the way they want.
L- It takes a “village” not a family to raise a child. Families need government help and oversight. Cradle to grave involvement is optimal.

C- American sovereignty comes before globalism.
L- Globalism comes before American sovereignty.

C- Right to free speech must be supported even if it offends.
L- Right to free speech is limited to speech that does not offend liberals. ("Political correctness" was invented by liberals... it should be called "liberal-anal correctness").



C- Society is composed of individuals to be judged on their individual merit. Values individualism, self-reliance, and independence.
L- Sees society as composed of groups: black vs. white, old vs. young, rich vs. poor, male vs. female. These groups are pitted against each other. Stirs up racial and class envy and division.

C- Promotes equal justice.
L- Promotes social justice.

C- Judicial restraint with strict interpretation of laws according to the Constitution and original intent.
L- Judicial activism: enacting social policy changes via court rulings. Constitution is seen as outdated and in need of change.



C- Individuals are responsible for themselves and their actions. Crime should be punished. Evil exists and good should fight against it. 
L- Society is responsible for individuals. Man is inherently good and something causes him to do wrong. They talk about how we need to change society when someone does wrong. Even terrorists need to be understood.

C- Competition is good.
L- Competition is unfair.

C- Sees America as good: the best hope for the world. Believes in American exceptionalism.
L- Sees America as flawed: racist, homophobic, imperialistic, sexist, ageist and no better than other countries.



----------





Limousine Liberals... pretending to be the voice of the working man and woman, the poor and the middle class...

While living the life of a self-serving elitist... at the taxpayers' expense. 



"Limousine liberal" and "Latte liberal" are pejorative American political terms used to illustrate corrupt hypocrisy by the political liberals of upper class or upper middle class status.

Examples Include: calls for the use of mass transit by the masses - while liberals are frequently using limousines or private jets...

Claiming environmental consciousness - but driving low MPG sports cars or SUVs. Or ostensibly supporting public education - while actually sending their children to private schools.

Al Gore is often called a limousine liberal by his critics for his use of private jet planes and SUVs, while giving speeches calling for reductions in greenhouse gas emissions.

In the May 16, 2007 edition of TIME magazine, the term was used in the allegation that that "His (Gore's) Tennessee mansion consumes 20 times the electricity used by the average American home.



"Limousine liberal" is also a reference to celebrities who use their fame to influence others into agreeing with their political and societal points of view.

Such celebrities' critics assert that their wealth and status keeps them out of touch with the American middle and lower middle classes they purport to support, and that they are typically blind to this disconnect.

It is a populist epithet, carrying an implicit accusation that the people it describes are insulated from all negative consequences of their programs purported to benefit the poor...

And that the costs and consequences of such programs would be borne in the main... by working class or lower middle class people, who were not so poor as to be beneficiaries themselves.




----------





How did we ever get to the point... that so many Democrats and liberals are so ignorant?

My father was a life long Democrat. Today, he would be astonished and deeply saddened at what his party now stands for.


Abortion on demand, more and more social programs for those unwilling to step up and secure an education, government involved in every facet of American life, contraception paid for by the tax payers, constant scandals and the abuse of power by the incompetent fool in the White House.

These same idiots now want to elect the first woman President - despite the fact it would be eight more years of the same liberal idiocy.

What happened to the real Democratic Party?









_______________________________________________________________




Cool Photos


Colored powder covers the face of a man during the Bisket Jatra Festival on the outskirts of Kathmandu, Nepal, on April 15. The festival marks the Nepali new year.




Workers pick asparagus near Ruhlsdorf, Germany, on April 10. Summer temperatures accompanied the start of the harvest season at Brandenburg's asparagus farms.




A confetti-throwing protester disrupted a European Central Bank (ECB) news conference, rushing on stage and screaming: "End ECB dictatorship." ECB chief Mario Draghi was delivering his opening remarks at the time. She was restrained by security and the briefing restarted soon afterwards.




A tractor collects golf balls on a driving range in the Palm Springs area on April 13. The average daily water usage per person in Palm Springs is 201 gallons, more than double the California average.

California's cities and towns would be required to cut their water usage by up to 35 percent or face steep fines under proposed new rules, the state's first-ever mandatory cutbacks in urban water use as the state enters its fourth year of severe drought.




A vehicle is surrounded by fields of flowers near the Keukenhof park, also known as the "Garden of Europe," in Lisse, Netherlands on April 15.




Students take an examination on an open-air playground at a high school in Yichuan, in China's Shaanxi province on April 11. More than 1,700 freshmen students took part in the exam, which was the first attempt by the school to administer it outside.




A multimillion-pound house in Kensington, London, was painted in red and white stripes by the owners after neighbours objected to their plans to demolish it and replace it with a new house and two-storey basement.




Heidi Pham of Minneapolis walks along the Tidal Basin on April 11 in Washington, D.C., as the city's cherry trees neared their peak bloom.



_______________________________________________________________

      _______________________________________________________________



Friday-funnies...

One pound of honey = two million bee round trips.

 Spanish saying: Perdona a tus enemigos … pero recuerda sus nombres! (Forgive your enemies… but remember their names!)

 "Carney's Law: There is at least a 50-50 chance, that someone will print the name Craney incorrectly." -- Jim Canrey 

 
"The most important thing in an argument, next to being right, is to leave an escape hatch for your opponent. So he can gracefully swing over to your side, without to much apparent loss of face." -- Sydney J. Harris 

 Being a devoted Christian... it's not a religion, it's a relationship.



----------





 The world is on fire with terrorist threats, Iran nukes and Russia/China aggression... but Obama declares the world is safer, thanks to him?

We've seen this delusional Obama propaganda before. Obama gives a speech pretending all is well... and then goes golfing. This has been the perpetual fraud of Obama's failed presidency. Six years of lies and shell games...

If the world seems troubled by all manner of calamities these days, President Obama does not want Americans to worry too much.

After all, he said Friday, “The world has always been messy”; it is just more apparent because of social media. And, he added, today’s geopolitical threats are far less perilous than those of the Cold War.

Governing at a time of war, terrorism and disease, and frustrated on multiple fronts at once, Mr. Obama finds himself trying to buck up supporters.

The succession of international crises has taken a toll on the public mood, not to mention his own poll ratings.



Obama addressed that public apprehension directly, acknowledging that many Americans “are feeling anxious” about their country and its place in the world.

The showdown with Russia over Ukraine, the emergence of a radical new Islamic caliphate in Syria and Iraq, and the rise of China have stirred unease about the future of the United States, he said.

“If you watch the nightly news, it feels like the world is falling apart. Mr. Obama agreed that “we are living through some extraordinarily challenging times” and “I can see why a lot of folks are troubled.”

A day after saying “we don’t have a strategy yet” to take on Islamic radicals in Syria, Mr. Obama made little effort to explain his approach to tackling myriad problems in the world...

Nor did he respond to a fold of critics - who blame him for making those problems worse - through what they say are ineffective policies and ignorance.



----------





 Florida Keys trying to attract Canadians with a tasty piece of their signature Key Lime Pie
 

Canadians line up for a free Key Lime Pie slice from the Florida Keys Key Lime Pie Truck in downtown Toronto Tuesday, Nov. 25, 2014.


Funded by the Monroe County Tourist Development Council, the truck was rolling through Toronto and Hamilton through Friday, Nov. 28, to motivate Canadians to travel to the subtropical island destination through their taste buds.

Each person receives a slice of pie along with a Key Lime Pie recipe card that includes the Florida Keys travel website and social media links.
The Florida Keys is trying to lure Canadian tourists with some of their signature pie.

The Florida Keys Key Lime Pie Food Truck was rolling on downtown Toronto streets with Keys representatives giving away free as they are enjoying their complimentary slice of Key Lime Pie.




----------





 One man's last wish... "Don't vote for Hillary Clinton!"

The obituary for Larry Darrell Upright asks mourners not to vote for Hillary Clinton. How important is candidate popularity to the outcome of a presidential election?

Larry Darrell Upright died this week. But his obituary lives on as the lastest arrow in the anti-Hillary Rodham Clinton quiver – at a time when her popularity is falling.

The North Carolina resident's obituary closes with this line: 

"In lieu of flowers, memorials may be sent to Shriners Hospital for Children .... Also, the family respectfully asks that you do not vote for Hillary Clinton in 2016. R.I.P. Grandaddy."
 

Hillary Clinton being elected would make the United States the biggest laughing stock in the world.



Larry had some good reasons to make the request...

She’s the Butcher of Benghazi. You know Hillary, the war monger and IRAQ war supporter. The one who falsely claimed to be "under sniper fire". You know the one who is guilty of taking overseas donations, for favors being paid forward.

Yep that one, that rich "out of touch" Hillary who gets $300,000 for speaking while pretending to sound like she is African American and ILLEGALLY conducts government business on private email.

Do you laugh aloud with the rest of us as she speaks in lies about how her grandparents immigrated to the United States, or as she meets with staged Democrat staffers in the coffee shop.

Or how about when “down to earth” Hillary millionaire liberal elite... doesn’t even leave a tip for the “average” American waitress, when she has her staged visit to Chipotle Mexican Grill?

ARE YOU LAUGHING YET?



----------





 Far-left MSNBC conducts simple Hillary Clinton poll... the results may or may not surprise you?

Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton may have some ground to make up with American voters as even a poll on left-leaning MSNBC.com ...

Shows an overwhelming 86 percent say they don’t plan on voting for the Democrat in 2016.

More than 54,000 people had voted in the online poll at time of publications — and 47,000 answered they won’t vote for Clinton. Only 6,492 people — or 12 percent voted “yes” and another 996 replied, “maybe.”

No stranger to controversy, Clinton will surely face intense criticism from her opponents on things like her private email scandal, Benghazi and her turbulent tenure as secretary of state.

Miriam Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary – Definition: “dysfunctional government” see “Clinton, Hillary – Senator, Secretary of State, Co-President, Hillary-care, Tweets, email server."



----------





 Classmate in England billed $24 dollars for not attending birthday party 

A 5-year-old boy in Plymouth, England, was given a $24 invoice for missing a friend's birthday party in an unusual dispute that appears to be heading to court.

Alex Nash was supposed to attend the party at a local ski park in December, where kids were treated to snow tubing, tobogganing and lunch. However, Alex's parents said they realized at the last minute that he also had plans to see his grandparents that day.

"We asked Alex what he wanted to do," Alex's dad, Derek Nash, told Sky News. "He chose to be with his grandparents." Nash said he didn't have contact information for the birthday boy's parents so he intended to apologize later.

Instead, Alex came home from school on Jan. 15 with an invoice in his backpack. The bill, dated Dec. 14, lists "1 Childs Party No Show Fee" at a cost of 15.95 pounds, or $24.“

I thought it was a joke to begin with. I am lost for words," Nash told the Plymouth Herald. Nash said he visited the birthday boy's mother and told her he had no intention of paying.

"I told her she should have spoken to me first and not put the invoice in my son’s school bag," the Herald quoted him as saying.



----------







----------








 "Girl Crush" ... Little Big Town live from iHeart Radio Theater 

All of their songs are great but this one just blows you away... Excellent song! Her voice combined with that guitar is something special.
 

Do not understand the controversy. It is more of an "envy" song. She wishes she was the woman who was with the man and she wants to be her so she can be. It is not about being with another woman... it is about "being " that other woman. 

I love this captivating song from their new album "Pain Killer" - Sang with such emotion and conviction - what a voice and moving lyrics... Brilliant! 

Watch the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjwXbBqiXnU



----------



 Song made me weep





----------





 "Prynt" is a phone case that turns your smartphone into a Polaroid-like instant camera 

A new prototype instant camera case promises to let you print photographs directly from your Android or Apple smartphone, and in just 30 seconds.

Dubbed Prynt, the modular unit acts as both a phone case and printer, and boasts an all-in-one ink and paper refill pack that claims to make reloading on the go a breeze.

Inspired by the original Polaroid instant camera, the Prynt team wanted to recreate the experience of sharing physical photos like people did in previous generations – only this time using the smartphones as the brain.
 

Given that these handsets are becoming our ubiquitous and constant companions, the Prynt creators thought it made the most sense to make a gizmo that attaches to the device that's already living in your pocket. 



In this vein, the Prynt is designed to wrap around and encase your phone, so you don’t have to fiddle with connections or plugs: just point, shoot and print. The Prynt case also holds 10 sheets of photo paper, with drop-in refills priced at just US$5 per pack and available through the Prynt app. 

Though still under development, the Prynt team hopes to have a companion app up by mid-year, along with a greater range of smartphone compatibility.

Designed to be modular, the Prynt is also aimed to adapt to different phones as the user upgrades, by simply swapping the front connecting units. This means that when you upgrade to a newer phone or move to a different brand or model, a whole new Prynt Case isn’t required; just a new adapter.

Currently, the Prynt only fits Apple’s iPhones 5, 5S, 5C and 6, along with the Samsung Galaxy S4 and S5.

The Prynt “augmented reality” feature could be a neat trick (or it could be a silly gimmick). When you take a photo using a Prynt-enhanced smartphone, the app also stores a short video to the cloud.




Then, when a Prynt photo is scanned and recognized by the system’s app at a later time (on the same or another phone), it replays the video over the top of the photo image. The Prynt team think this will a fun way to embed additional information or surprises in shared photos.

Prynt is currently running a Kickstarter campaign to raise funds to bring Prynt to market and allow for development of the system for a wider range of smartphones.

A Prynt Super Early Bird special is available from $49 (including refills) and available in pink, white or blue.
 

The company hopes to start tooling up in March, conducting testing through May, June and July, and then – if all goes to plan – start shipping Early Bird units in August.

With its $50,000 target already more than tripled, the Prynt system certainly looks in a good position to move towards those goals.

Website: https://www.pryntcases.com/




----------





 The fight for faith... Christians are under attack everywhere, including right here in America 

In the video News Report below it speaks to the persecution and attack against Christians in the Middle East and recent statements by the Israeli Ambassador to the UN comparing this attack to the persecution of Jews.

No matter the religion, or even if one chooses not to practice any religion, no practitioners of ANY faith, as long as they are practicing it peacefully, should be attacked. 

In the video they ask what the U.S. should do about the attacks against Christians across the Middle East, but in reality, the U.S. should worry first about our own government attacking faith before addressing others.

Christians under attack in the middle East 

Watch the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=LN6CbeR0lAc





Christians under attack in America 

While the video speaks for itself in terms of proving this attack against the Christian Faith, they make the same mistake, or deliberate omission, that other media outlets continue to make...

They ignore the fact that the Christian faith is under attack right here in the U.S. as well, by the U.S. government. 

Here at home, Christianity and Christian religious practices are also under attack, but in more subtle ways and under a misinterpretation of the principle of freedom of religion. 

In the United States, that legal doctrine is cited to marginalize Christian prayer and traditions, while, at the same time, dramatically accommodating and even expanding Muslim religious practices. Myriad examples exist.

Meanwhile, the ACLU has been at the forefront of an extensive effort to ban Christian prayer from public schools under the "separation of church and state" provision of the First Amendment. This is a signature issue for the "civil rights" organization.

However, for Muslim prayers, the organization reverses its interpretation and fights for student rights to engage in prayer.





Obama's Easter attack on Christians

President Obama, who won’t call out radical Islam for beheading Christians, is spewing verbal vitriol against Christians. 

President Obama began his remarks at an Easter Prayer Breakfast this week saying he is “concerned” about “less than loving” Christians? 

He used the day we as Christians celebrate our risen Savior – the day love conquered death – to call Christians unloving? 

Christians around the world are suffering and dying each and every day at the hands of brutal radical Islamic jihadist genocide, and the leader of the free world finds the need to attack Christians? 

But this wasn’t the first time. Just a few short months ago at the National Prayer Breakfast he used his bully pulpit to excoriate Christians for getting on “our high horse” about the persecution of Christians. 

At a time when Christians are being slaughtered, raped, and decapitated simply for being a Christian, or in some regimes hung simply for expressing the love of Christ to others, President Obama deliberately and repeatedly puts Christians in his rhetorical crosshairs. 



He’s spent more time calling out Christians - than acknowledging that radical Islamists are inflicting genocide.

It’s more than offensive to the millions of Christians across the globe who seek to live out our lives following Christ’s example of love. His statements are just plain false. 

Christians are not responsible for radical Islamic jihadists seeking to wipe out the global Christian Church. 

We are not unloving. Christians who serve in our Armed Forces are not – as his Administration has previously asserted – “extremists.”

Obama is an atheist - pretending to be a Christian.

If you want to see what real hate looks like in the face of real love, just look to the Middle East. Christians are dying for their faith.

President Obama’s comments were hurtful and outrageous. But coming from the leader of the free world, they were harmful.

As Christians, we must stand up for our brothers and sisters in Christ. We must share the truth and call out – even our President – for assaults on our faith.

At the ACLJ, we’re preparing an open letter to President Obama demanding he stop attacking Christians and apologize. We face real enemies in the world, we face evil... but Christianity isn’t it.

Watch the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8Xwju0xlgk



----------







 Dress Code 

Nancy was employed in the Human Resources department of a large multinational. Having graduated recently from college, her job was to impart training to employees in corporate dress code and conduct.

She was stepping into the elevator one day when a man sporting a french beard, and dressed casually in cargoes and t-shirt, entered with her.

Reminded of her responsibilities, Nancy taunted, "Dressed a little too casually for a Thursday, aren't we?"

The man with the french beard replied, "Just one of the perks of owing the company!"







----------



 Supermodel Giselle Bundchen is retiring from modeling. You know why? Because she says her body told her to stop. I think that's pretty insightful. I'm retiring because EVERYBODY told me to stop. -- David Letterman

 Hillary Clinton is campaigning in Iowa, virtually going door to door to every home in Iowa. Jehovah's Witnesses finally got fed up and said, "Get lost. Get out of here!" -- David Letterman

 The Hillary team is driving around in a van. Sometimes people get those gag bumper stickers put on their van. Hillary has one on her van, and it says, "If this van's rockin', I'm deleting emails." -- David Letterman

 Hillary's trying to appear downhome. Earlier today she was sitting on the front porch of a general store whittling a pantsuit.

 The 2016 presidential campaign is heating up. Can you feel the indifference, the apathy?





 Hillary Clinton is making income inequality a central theme in her campaign. Yeah, for example, today she pointed out that her husband makes $300 million a year. She has to get by on $200 million a year, and that's not fair. -- Conan O'Brien

 A Wisconsin woman recently got a high school diploma at the age of 103 and says she is now considering going to college. Friends are recommending a two-year college. -- Conan O'Brien

 A new report shows that the typical tourist in Las Vegas is a 45-year-old married person from California. That explains the new motto — what happens in Vegas probably also happens in Fresno. -- Conan O'Brien
 

 Hillary Clinton announced she's running for president. Yesterday in Ohio, Hillary popped into a Chipotle and she ordered a burrito bowl with chips and salsa. And on her way out she said, "That locks down the Hispanic vote."

 The only fun thing about filing your tax return is getting a refund. About 80 percent of taxpayers get money back, which is a weird thing to be happy about. That means you've been overpaying all year long. It's like if someone broke into your house and the police recovered the stuff and brought it back and you said, "Oh, presents." -- Jimmy Kimmel




----------





 Report claims Islamic state "ISIS" camp discovered in Mexico... just across the Texas border 

Just eight miles from the U.S. border, the Islamic State is operating a “training and recruitment camp” near Ciudad Juarez in the Mexican state of Chihuahua, according to a Judicial Watch report.

Citing sources that include a “Mexican Army field grade officer and a Mexican Federal Police Inspector,” Judicial Watch reports that the terror group has set up the camp in an area referred to as “Anapra” — and it’s only a few miles from El Paso, Texas.

More from the Judicial Watch report:

During the course of a joint operation last week, Mexican Army and federal law enforcement officials discovered documents in Arabic and Urdu, as well as “plans” of Fort Bliss –

The sprawling military installation that houses the US Army’s 1st Armored Division. Muslim prayer rugs were recovered with the documents during the operation.
 



Law enforcement and intelligence sources report the area around Anapra is dominated by the Vicente Carrillo Fuentes Cartel (“Juárez Cartel”), La Línea (the enforcement arm of the cartel) and the Barrio Azteca (a gang originally formed in the jails of El Paso).

Cartel control of the Anapra area make it an extremely dangerous and hostile operating environment for Mexican Army and Federal Police operations.

According to these same sources, “coyotes” engaged in human smuggling – and working for Juárez Cartel – help move ISIS terrorists through the desert and across the border between Santa Teresa and Sunland Park, New Mexico.

To the east of El Paso and Ciudad Juárez, cartel-backed “coyotes” are also smuggling ISIS terrorists through the porous border between Acala and Fort Hancock, Texas.

The U.S. cities referenced above were intentionally selected because of the depleted municipal and county police forces and existing drug smuggling routes.

Even more terrifying, “Mexican intelligence sources” told Judicial Watch that Islamic State terrorists are scouting area universities, government facilities and electrical power facilities near Anapra and Chaparral, New Mexico.

I believe Obama and his closest advisors are working in collaboration with the Islamic State or ISIS.




----------





 "Kermit" frog discovered in Costa Rica 

A Minnesota scientist in Costa Rica has discovered a new species of glass frog that resembles The Muppet character Kermit the frog

According to the Costa Rican Amphibian Research Center, Dr. Brian Kubicki, who photographed the frog, is excited to share the news about a "species of glass frog, Hyalinobatrachium dianae, from the Caribbean slopes of Costa Rica." 

Glass frogs are found in parts of South and Central America. Their skin is so translucent that you can see their organs. 

Kubicki said the new species is clearly different due to its colouring and the distinctive sound of its call. Including this new discovery, Costa Rica has 14 types of glass frogs.



----------





 Man ruptured thumb tendon... a lesson to all of us, to stop using our phones so much

Candy Crushers beware: Your gaming habit could be hazardous to your health. 

A southern California man recently discovered how dangerous his phone use could be when he ruptured the tendon in his left thumb after gaming for six to eight weeks straight.

The 29-year-old man is the subject of a shocking new case study in JAMA Internal Medicine, which detailed the development of chronic pain in his left thumb due to his constant gaming. He also experienced a significant drop in range of motion in his thumb and had to have surgery to fix the issue.

“We were surprised this happened,” study author Andrew Doan, MD, PhD, who is the Head of Addictions & Resilience Research for the U.S. Navy in the Department of Mental Health, tells Yahoo Health.

While this particular case study may seem a little extreme, it should actually serve as a warning for all of us. Doan says this can happen to anyone with a smartphone, whether they’re constantly gaming, emailing, or texting.

According to research, we’re increasingly becoming reliant on our phones. A recent British study found that we pick up our phones more than 1,500 times a week, and a new Pew research study found that 46 percent of smartphone users say they “couldn’t live without” their phones -


That’s way up from the 29 percent who reported the same sentiment in 2012. Pew also discovered that 97 percent of smartphone users text, making our thumbs very busy on a daily basis.



----------





 Cute little puppy dances with excitement 

Puppy celebrates going home in the funniest way. Dancing, Marching & Jumping Choco Poodle Dog.

When he sees his owner walk in, this little puppy pulls out all his fancy footwork. I think someone's ready to go home.

Watch the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=iYDS8n_6I00




_______________________________________________________________

7 Day Free Trial @ Chemistry.com. _______________________________________________________________



Thought for the day...


Omega 3's beat depression 

Depression is often hard to diagnose, because the individual symptoms often point to so many other things.

Psychiatrists often talk about chemical imbalances in the brain – as if they really know what the right balance should be. They don't. In fact, they're guessing.

And it's hard to calculate the very real impact of spending every weekday with an aggressive employer, working at a job you hate...

Or the rage you might feel after a two-hour commute, or the financial stress you and your family may be under, or the media pressure to act this way or look that way. 



The psychiatrist's answer is always the same – write a prescription for some addictive Big Pharma opiate or a benzodiazepine, like Xanax, Ativan and Klonopin, and then move on to the next patient who needs to be "numbed."

One in 10 Americans now takes an antidepressant medication. And among women in their 40s and 50s, the figure is one in four. 


Many people have been taking these scary and addictive meds for decades and they're causing untold damage to their brain and liver, let alone the rest of the body – and all with the blessing of their physician and psychiatrist.

Meanwhile, the latest statistics reveal the number of people diagnosed with depression increases by about 20% a year.

I don't prescribe any of these meds – but I have had significant success treating patients with depression by taking a more natural approach.

Physicians and psychiatrists have ignored the most significant factor in today's depression crisis – our modern diet.


Americans are starving for vital nutrients. Never before have we had so much food... with so little sustenance. 



With each generation, our soil becomes more depleted of essential vitamins and minerals. The depletion of magnesium in our soil, for example, has been linked directly to increases in mental illness.

At the same time, our animals have become adulterated with antibiotics, hormones, pesticides and toxins. And Big Agra's processing has stripped away even more basic building blocks of life.

Those basic building blocks include omega-3 fatty acids. And numerous studies indicate that the rapid increase in the rate of depression in America has increased as our consumption of omega-3s has declined over the past 50 to 100 years.

When it comes to the brain, we are talking particularly about the omega-3s called docosahexaenoic and eicosapentaenoic acids, or DHA and EPA for short.

The human brain is 60% fat, almost entirely comprised of omega-3 fatty acids. Without these omega-3s, the brain cannot build or maintain high-quality cells.

DHA concentrates in the brain's gray matter, especially the "mood zone." It becomes part of the cell membranes and helps electrochemical signals jump between brain cells.

But DHA cannot work alone. It needs EPA to control inflammation and to stabilize the brain's metabolic processes.

If the brain cannot get enough DHA and EPA, it uses second-rate materials and creates second-rate brain cells that can't do their job properly. Studies show how the brain needs EPA and DHA to ward off depression and suicidal tendencies. 



Our ancestors consumed plenty of these omega-3s from wild plants, grasses, fish and seaweed. They also ate wild fauna that fed on the wild flora. Today, we're more likely to eat farm-raised, corn-fed salmon or corn-fed beef. So our vegetables and our meat end up deficient in omega-3s. 

Replenishing the Omega-3s has worked wonders. And numerous studies back up the experience of the patients. Omega-3s reduced symptom severity in patients with bipolar and unipolar depression, as well as ADHD.

But maintaining healthy Omega-3s is also the best way I know of preventing depression, even when the stresses of modern living assault you from every angle.

Most mainstream medical experts recommend eating two servings of oily fish a week.
The best sources are mackerel, herring, salmon, trout and fresh tuna. This kind of diet should provide between 800 mg. and 1,000 mg. of those vital omega-3s per week.

But after years of tracking my patients' omega-3 levels, I know it is almost impossible to get enough EPA-DHA from your diet.


Based on my experience, you need at least 500 mg. of DHA and about 60 mg. of EPA - EVERY DAY!

Without a doubt, supplements are the best way to boost your EPA-DHA levels... although not just any supplement. 



If you use fish oil, you're likely to run into the toxicity problems you face if you were to eat fish every day.

Fortunately, there are better alternatives. I recommend krill oil and squid oil to my patients.

The tiny shrimp-like krill do not live long enough to absorb large amounts of toxins. And squid live miles below the ocean, far from the pollution on the surface.

And krill oil has another advantage. Its omega-3s are stored in phospholipid form instead of triglyceride, which helps DHA cross cell membranes better and explains why it is so good for brain function.

I always recommend combining krill oil with natural astaxanthin, a powerful antioxidant that can help DHA cross the blood-brain barrier even more efficiently.

So if you want to live longer and smarter, this is one of the easiest ways to improve your chances...

Take at least 500 mg. of DHA and 60 mg. of EPA from a combination of squid oil and krill oil with astaxanthin.

And make sure you take them with meals, so the DHA and EPA can be digested properly.





_______________________________________________________________

$2.95 .Com at GoDaddy.com!
      _______________________________________________________________






A thriving economy and economic growth and stability... rely on four legs of a table...

Reagan's Revolution That Wasn't: The "National Economic Emergency" That Was Never Declared...

And the Reforms That Never Got Done First, let's set the quote with which we began in context:

At age 42, Mr. Lehrman found himself in the heady company of Ronald Reagan's most trusted advisers - at the moment in November 1980 when Reagan had won the White House.

Less than 48 hours after victory was secured, Mr. Lehrman penned a memo in which he suggested the new president declare a national economic emergency.

But draconian measures like wage and price controls were the furthest thing from his mind.

"On the contrary," he wrote, "the new program for economic renewal will deal with the crisis by a systematic reformation of economic institutions."




Two of the men in Reagan's inner circle -- Reps. David Stockman and Jack Kemp -- latched onto the ideas in Lehrman's memo right away.

And just as quickly, the ideas got swept away by "the triumph of politics" -- the title of Stockman's bridge-burning 1987 memoir.

But the ideas are worth revisiting now. They're timeless. They make up, in Lehrman's mind, four legs of an economic table:

• Low taxes,
• Less regulation,
• A balanced budget and 
• Sound money.

"It was a comprehensive proposal," he recalled to us. "All four legs of the table had to be built at the same time...

To just go with two legs, namely tax rate reform and deregulation, you'd have a very unstable table, sitting on two legs."

But as 1980 turned to 1981, two legs were all we got.

"Out of that debate developed an attitude toward budget deficits which was pernicious, mainly that budget deficits don't matter.




'Let's just reduce tax rates, get economic growth going, and the budget may take care of itself.'"

It did not: The national debt, still under $1 trillion when Reagan took office, more than doubled to $2.1 trillion by the time he left.

The "sound money" leg was never built, much less attached to the table. Reagan did appoint a Gold Commission -- a sop to the late Sen. Jesse Helms.

But it was stacked with people who judged the gold standard a barbarous relic -- starting with its chairman, Treasury Secretary Donald Regan.

In the end, the commission voted 15-2 against recommending a return to a gold-based monetary system.

The two dissenters: Rep. Ron Paul... and Lehrman.




This Week's Government Goofs & Goofballs
An Independent & unbiased accounting of our government 
& political mischief

After more than six years of screw-ups... Obama still hasn't figured out how to be the president 

For a week leading up to the president’s previous address, White House advisers were trying out yet another new catchphrase, telling any reporter they could find...

That President Barack Obama had discovered he had “a phone and a pen,” and he intended to use them in the year ahead.

Up until now, apparently, the president has been relying on the quill and telegraph President Rutherford Hayes left behind, so this is kind of a breakthrough.

This phone-and-pen business represents a pretty stunning admission from a president six plus years into his term –

That he and his senior aides are still groping about for ways to wield the power of the office, and that they have essentially given up on legislating.



Their latest strategy holds that, since a small number of Republican lawmakers have effectively decided to thwart the extremist Obama liberal agenda, Obama must resort to doing the things he can do on his own, mainly by signing executive orders and making lots of calls.

Obama has, in fact, governed at a time of Obama-generated intense polarity and general wackiness in Congress, and at a time of fast-fracturing media, when the so-called bully pulpit doesn’t command a room like it used to.

But none of this gets to the hard truth that underlies Obama’s lagging approval ratings, which is that while most Americans may agree with the president’s assessment of what’s wrong in government, they no longer trust him to fix it.

In an ABC News poll released last weekend, only 37 percent of voters said they had confidence in Obama to make the right decisions, compared with 61 percent when he took office. Only 47 percent said he understands the problems of ordinary Americans.

In other words, Obama isn’t tanking simply because conservatives are bent on blocking his policies. Rather, conservatives can get away with blocking his policies because the voters aren’t persuaded they’ll work.

If all of this perplexes Obama and his aides, it probably shouldn’t. Most Americans who voted for the president in 2008 thought they were getting a pragmatic reformer who would channel the most powerful impulse in modern American politics – to make government work.



In this way, Obama seemed to echo Bill Clinton and Newt Gingrich, who remade the welfare system and tore down the decaying housing projects that were blighted symbols of bureaucratic failure.

From the start, though, Obama’s presidency went in a decidedly selfish, divisive, destructive and power hungry different direction.


Facing an economic catastrophe and buoyed by liberal-fabricated polls that showed Americans open to activist government, Obama set about expanding the reach and ambition of the federal government for the first time in a generation.

This was the wrong policy choice... and the Obama’s White House has shown little sustained interest in making government more efficient at the same time.

There was debate inside the White House, in those early years, about maybe collapsing some of the sprawling bureaucracies housed in 20th century Cabinet departments.

Later, in his State of the Union address in 2011, Obama vowed to bring government into the information age.



(“The Interior Department is in charge of salmon while they’re in fresh water, but the Commerce Department handles them when they’re in saltwater,” he despaired. “And I hear it gets even more complicated once they’re smoked.”)

But all of this came to very little; basically, the administration’s big idea was to fold the Office of the United States Trade Representative into the Commerce Department, which went nowhere.

Most often, Obama has generally talked and acted like a man held prisoner by the systems he inherited, rather than the guy in charge of them.

No doubt Obama and his allies fear, as Democrats have since the Reagan years, that publicly questioning the efficiency of government would only abet conservative efforts to dismantle it.


I get it. But nothing did more to erode the credibility of government - than the disastrous rollout of the Obamacare federal health exchange.

That Obama relied so heavily on the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services to design a massive, eBay-like website tells you a lot about his own abiding faith in government born of the industrial age.



And such perceptions matter when you’re proposing to increase the excessive cost investments that government gets to make.

White House aides should ask themselves why New Yorkers gave overwhelming support to their new mayor, Bill de Blasio, and his tax-raising agenda.

Sure, residents of Park Slope and the Upper West Side are inherently more liberal than most Americans, but it’s also true that they’ve just enjoyed 12 years of ruthless efficiency under the Bloomberg administration.

They take for granted the basic competence of government, and that makes all the difference when you ask them to expand it.

Obama did announce in his State of the Union, that Vice President Joe Biden would lead an Al Gore-style effort to re-evaluate federal job-training programs. That’s a good idea - if they were serious about it?

But if Obama’s really going to give up on pushing major legislation (otherwise known as being the president) and focus instead on executive orders...

Then he might as well focus his power on the one place where he really can make both a substantive and political difference, which is reforming the federal government.



On the 50th anniversary of the War on Poverty, Obama could take up the conservative challenge to review the litany of existing anti-poverty programs and figure out which ones actually work.

He could establish clear rules to reform the government’s collection of our personal data, rather than leaving it to Congress and multiple boards.

He could learn the right lesson from the fiasco of the health care rollout, which is that a lot of archaic agencies throughout the government aren’t up to the technological challenges of the new age, and it’s time to reboot them. 

With less than two years left in his presidency, Obama has wasted six years of our time... falsely proclaiming to be something like the generational figure a lot of Americans hoped he would be, forcibly pulling government into the digital world.
 

He has instead, spend his time intentionally dividing us... and working the phones and signing small orders with his pen... sort of like the most powerful claims adjuster on earth.



 
 

We really appreciate your visits! Every Friday, our goal is to provide you with a few laughs, some inspiring stories and some food for thought. We look forward to your visiting with us again next Friday!
Y'all come on back now... ya hear!

Subscribe, unsubscribe, give us your feedback...
email: Jeff@Friday-funnies.com

©Copyright 2009-2015, Friday-funnies.com™. All rights reserved.